The Michael Toy

Poems and Other Programmes


how to make a starship captain


heroic profile, obviously
slightly anti social,
    loves machines more than people
    the ship, more than the people in it,
    because people are easier to replace
charming, so charming, can charm a crew
into thinking they are more important than the ship

add a quirky obsession with some ancient or alien lore
which will save the day several times
and provide solace in the lonely captain's cabin

a good body, and martial arts training
need to make the uniform look like something you want to wear
and useful for the inexplicably common fist fights
with temporarily powerless godlike entities

must to be able to deliver a monolog to an empty viewscreen
win at poker, not chess, since you can pay people for that
cook at least one "earth dish" supernaturally well
oh yeah, needs to have a really great catchphrase

sexually inactive for years at a time
with one or two brief episodes of interest
have to be careful, there are only so many chairs
for these brilliant, arrogant, power-mad geniuses to sit in
we just need to breed enough
to replace the occaisional hero
who has to die in order to save the universe

Path: class GeekPoetry(Poetry):