Poems and Other Programmes

deconstruction for the doomed

There are many people using the word “deconstruction” when they describe the season of their life where they begin to question the things which were previously unquesitonable. I like to think of this word as meaning something more than “The process of trading in my old answers for new ones”, so I offer this

let's have a chat about "deconstruction"
if you have heard this word,
and you did not run screaming,
but stopped to listen,
this will be a helpful guide

there are precisely four things
you need to know

one: deconstruction is not destruction
if you want to blow the whole thing up
and walk away from the flames
like an action hero striding
into a sunset with no more Sundays

god bless you, do that
you ARE a hero
this is not the poem you are looking for

two: deconstruction is love
for some reason
even though you probably should have
you didn’t just blow the whole thing up
and walk away in slow motion


it doesn’t matter how ugly the reason
deconstruction begins
when you can love
the why

just a paycheck? love it
honor a legacy? love it
feeling lost? love it
Love love love

three: deconstruction is
reading between the lines or
listening as the lines reveal
what is missing as you notice
the the way the darkness of each line
outlines something hidden
and wonder what that means

once you see the context
the subtext
the texture of the paper,
the color of the ink,
what you had for breakfast
and who didn’t get breakfast this morning

you will find angels,
    singing the very song someone once heard
as they wrote that text you now deconstruct
you’ll find the dead,
    ghosts doomed to forever haunt the words
you’ll find demons,
    telling you that these words are the problem
    and whispering secrets about how to make explosives

so gather up your angels, ghosts, demons
you are ready for 

four: deconstruction …

oops: four … i forgot, 
probably should have lead with this
the first rule of deconstruction club
you don’t talk about deconstruction club

love is knowing
unless someone feels the ghosts and hears the angels
they will probably see you as a demon
which means you have to be careful who you talk to

NOW you are ready for

five: deconstruction is a mad tea party
you and the ghosts
and the demons
and the angels

seated around a table talking
trading seats,
til you are no longer certain
which of you is which

six: deconstructed
how do you know
when you are done deconstructing
and it is time to reconstruct?

deconstruction maybe started as a hunt for monsters
then it was the secret speakeasy behind the hidden door
then there was that flash mob on the roof
becoming the protest on the front steps
turning into the game of hide and seek in the hallways

all this
on, inside, and around
a structure that is not blown up
it is held together by love
messy confusing broken
human love

seven: finally

fuck it
just blow it up

copyright ©2023 michael toy