harold knew what the voice of god sounded like
which made it difficult for him to attend church
people full of faith trying to imitate the voice of god
it always made harold laugh, like you do at an impressionist
but then people would stare at him
harold heard the voice of god on a fairly regular basis
it never predicted the future, or gave him commands
it was always something simple, that harold already knew
"THAT ORANGE IS REALLY TASTY"
"IT IS REALLY FRUSTRATING WHEN AN AGGRESSIVE DRIVER CUTS IN FRONT OF YOU"
it was, however, an audible voice, and also
though harold wasn't sure how he knew it, he did know it,
the voice of the creator of the universe
"HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD IS NOT AS USEFUL AS IT SEEMS"
"amen to that," says harold, under his breath