there is
so much evil
everywhere, everything
is wrong, broken, and doomed
i can’t open my eyes
without being blinded and broken
i can’t listen even for a moment
without weeping or raging
i can’t move an inch
without crushing or cursing
i cannot even breathe
the air feels poisonous
and i do not
exactly exhale health
i make my world smaller
until it is
small enough that i can
move and breathe safely
just barely large enough
if i stand at the very edge
i can see god
because they are not
in here with me
where i am safe
they are out there
where everything is wrong
and broken
and doomed
i hear them waiting for me to stop
thinking and praying
wearing the colors
cheering for heroes
clicking compassionately
wishing the world was better
they wait
for me to come
come weep,
come rage
bleed and break
come
live
i am here
trapped, not by the evil
everywhere
out there
trapped by the evil
i made
so i could be safe